Lifestyle: My Modesty Journey, Expectations and Boundaries…

This is something I’ve actually not talked about in a while but it has been playing on my mind. Thinking of it now, I think I am about to sound like some celebrities who come online to scream: “Stop calling me your children’s role model because I am also human”.

Although, I am no celebrity at all but lately I got a message from some “Online follower” sliding into my DM to let me know how I am misleading young girls that wear hijab, how I am not wearing hijab properly and how God need to forgive me (I say Amen to that).

Many time, we set standards and expectations for people like us online without having a full understanding of their journey (Personal or spiritual). I personally have come a long way with my spirituality and most times I will brush things like that away but this particular message keeps coming back to me. Maybe, that’s because I’ve been feeling a bit of struggle lately with my “Modesty/Hijab journey” which I am beginning to see clarity slowly and understand better.

So, if I am allowed to make this disclaimer on here. I would advise we stop having expectations for people like us especially if they are not families (Even that). I have come to realised that yes at the beginning I started wearing my scarf as “Hijab” because I certainly wanted to go on a modesty journey which I thought wearing the “Hijab” is the ideal way for me (Again, I don’t know it all) but slowly I have realised my intention of modesty dressing/style isn’t particularly the “Hijab” instead, modesty in it simple terms (Disclaimer: The word Modesty isn’t only for Muslims or defines Hijab only).

Ignoring uncomfortable messages in my DM can come easy sometimes but as human, sometimes I am just tired of trying to meet people’s expectations of me, online who sometime’s absolutely don’t care about my mental health status at that moment. Oops, did I mention most of these messages always start with “Oh, I know it’s not my business or Oh, I don’t mean to be rude” (Most of the time, people do exactly what they claim not to do).

You might not particularly agree with my expression of “Modest Style”. So, I will strongly advise you please do your own research and follow what you believe is right for you. Let’s always remember we are all on a journey the next person might particularly not understand fully but that’s okay.

Moving forward, I will be setting strong boundaries to protect my space, mental health and energy. Lastly, If you are a content creator online, you need to read more about “setting boundaries” (I am still learning about that).

Many might not be surprised because they probably understand my style or get that anyways but I just feel the need to really write this post.


Don’t forget to connect with me on all social platforms @itsmaryamsalam

*Modesty definition (According to Google): the quality of being relatively moderate, limited, or small in amount, rate, or level.

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