Wedding Diary #1: Finally, we are having a wedding ceremony!

Remember we got engaged at the end of 2019. Honestly, We weren’t planning to do anything in 2020 because early in the year 2020, Covid kicked in. But, somewhere in my heart, I thought 2021 was definitely going to be the year. Unfortunately, we had to make the tough decision to put a hold on everything because the uncertainty was too much.

I said tough decision because I was genuinely already tired of pushing things and realistically, the low faith/human in me thought “Everyone who got engaged after me already got married, why is mine difficult? Maybe, wedding isn’t for me”. All these were going through my head in addition to family indecision.

I won’t lie, this wait tested my patience and faith. At some point, I was comparing myself to other people’s journeys even though our situation was completely different. If we were to get married in Nigeria, I am certain we would have a long time ago but that wasn’t an option because none of our family was based in Nigeria.

At some point, I was angry and upset with God and everyone that mentioned the word wedding to me. I gave up, I didn’t see the need anymore, and seriously, I talked myself into moving on from that idea of having a wedding celebration. It felt like I had to kill my childhood dream of mine to have a wedding celebration.

But, my partner wanted a wedding celebration and my family was looking forward to the day their “last born” finally do all the traditional wedding rights and walk down the aisle.

I cried in silence and loudly when no one is watching. Then, I got tired of pitying myself and decided to take all my worries back to God. I am not the most spiritual person or prayerful person but I was determined to let go and let God guide me. How? I didn’t know but I wasn’t willing to worry about that. I started to open my mind to the idea of having a wedding party again and consciously speak positivity into the day [Even before we picked a date].

I had a sit-down talk with my dad to pour out what was making me upset regarding how the family was handling the wedding situation. Apparently, I made so many assumptions and misinterpreted many things that were said [This type of conversation with your parent or family is so important].

Finally, everything seems to be falling in place and before I know it, our dates were set.

Next Episode – Coming soon: How and What we considered before picking our wedding date!

See you soon.

Maryam xoxo